Orgasmic meditation (OM) is a unique wellness practice that combines mindfulness, touching, and pleasure.
For the uninitiated, it’s a partnered experience of stroking around the clitoris for 15 minutes, with only one goal: let go and feel.
The stroking is meant to happen in an incredibly specific way — on the upper-left quadrant of the clitoris in an up-and-down motion, no firmer than you would stroke an eyelid.
It’s usually done by a partner wearing latex gloves dipped or coated in lube. There is no stroking of the partner’s genitalia.
Although ‘orgasm’ is in the name, OM isn’t intended to serve as foreplay or lead to climax. Rather, it’s to bring your attention to the present moment and experience pleasure.
In the news
This method began making its way into public conversation in 2009 after The New York Times wrote a profile on OneTaste, the first-ever orgasmic meditation company. Founded by Nicole Daedone and Rob Kandell, their original tagline was “A pleasurable place for your body to be.”
However, OneTaste has faced backlash in recent years, with former participants claiming OneTaste pushed them into debt. Others called the practice a ‘sexual wellness’ cult.
Since then, OneTaste has rebranded as the Institute of OM, and orgasmic meditation continues to hold appeal for folks who are feeling unfulfilled sexually or craving a deeper connection.
Although traditional meditation is often considered a spiritual — and, at times, existential — practice, modern meditation is typically viewed in terms of health and wellness.
Modern medication is usually considered a stress- and anxiety-reducing methodology or a form of mindful therapy.
But at its core, meditation is a way to connect with your authentic self and focus your awareness on the present moment. This is true across all types and practices.
“For an athlete, that could look like getting into the flow state of exercise,” explained Ava Johanna, international breathwork and meditation instructor and founder of The Academy of Breath.
“For someone else, that could look like repeating a mantra.” And for others, it could look like partnered clitoral stroking for 15 minutes.
That said, OM isn’t for everyone. Given the intense intimacy and the costly courses, you may want to try traditional meditation instead. Check out these meditation apps and videos to get started.
People who practice OM often report increased happiness, less stress and anxiety, and have healthier,
For instance, Kendall said, “I’m not a scientist, but I can say that [practicing OM] helped my confidence — it helped my relationships with women. It turned my volume up. I felt like I finally understand women and how their bodies and minds work.”
While orgasm is not the end goal of OM, some folks do experience orgasm. Research shows that orgasm can provide a whole host of health benefits, including increased endorphins, decreased cortisol, and pain relief.
Finally, there are all the health benefits
- decreased stress
- increased memory, clarity, and focus
- improved sleep quality
- reduced blood pressure
- positive shifts in mood
You can find a variety of instructional articles, audio files, and videos online, but it’s important to understand that there isn’t a right or wrong way to OM. Whatever works for you is the way to go!
If you aren’t sure where to start, here’s a simplified version of the typical OM practice:
- Make sure your environment is comfortable and relaxing. Set up a yoga mat, blanket, or firm cushion to sit on. Have a hand towel, two timers, and lube within reach.
- Get into a comfortable position. Set one timer for 13 minutes and another for 15 minutes.
- The person doing the stroking should describe what they see in terms of color, texture, and location.
- The stroker should apply lube to their fingers, then ask the person being stroked if they’re ready. After verbal consent, the person stroking can begin stroking the upper left-hand quadrant of the clitoris.
- When the timer dings at 13 minutes, the stoker should begin using downward strokes.
- When the second timer dings, the stroker should cup their hand to apply gentle pressure to the receiver’s genitals until both participants feel back in their bodies.
- The stoker should use a towel to wipe lube from the genitals to the hands.
Although orgasmic meditation is traditionally considered a partnered activity, you can practice a variation on your own.
Taking the time to focus on your own pleasure can bring about a meditative quality that allows you to establish a stronger sexual wellness connection within yourself.
Given today’s go-go-go speed, the idea of dedicating 15 minutes a day to stroking or getting your clitoral area stroked might be a new self-care technique to get behind.
Gabrielle Kassel is a New York-based sex and wellness writer and CrossFit Level 1 Trainer. She has become a morning person, tested over 200 vibrators, and eaten, drunk, and brushed with charcoal — all in the name of journalism. In her free time, she can be found reading self-help books and romance novels, bench-pressing, or pole dancing. Follow her on Instagram.