Experts weigh in on some of the most effective exercises to manage your anxiety, especially at night.
If your anxiety is the worst at night, you’re not alone.
I can be dead tired, and yet the moment the lights go out, my brain will shift gears instantly. A simple noise down the hall or a stray thought about something that happened in my day can send my mind reeling down a relentless rabbit hole of intrusive thoughts.
I’ll start beating myself up for my choices, or I’ll agonize over the decisions I have to make tomorrow.
I’ll replay events in my head and start asking “what if” over and over again.
“If I fall asleep, will I hear my son if he wakes up and cries? Will he try to crawl out of the crib if I don’t hear him? What if he falls while I’m asleep? What if he hits his head?”
What if. What if. What if …
It’s relentless and exhausting.
Sometimes, I’ll be up for hours, full of fears and completely unable to talk myself down from imagining the very worst things happening.
Other times, my anxious thoughts will turn into a panic attack. I’ll feel dizzy, my heart will pound, and my chest will hurt. On those nights, I have no choice but to wake my husband and ask for help.
None of this is healthy or fun — but I’m far from the only one to have ever experienced this kind of nightly anxiety.
Well, first off, there’s no substitute for seeking help from a mental health professional. An anxiety or trauma therapist, in particular, can help work with you to reduce your anxiety and panic symptoms.
According to Lauran Hahn, a mental health counselor specializing in anxiety and trauma therapy based in Orlando, FL, there are specific treatments, like EMDR or sensorimotor psychotherapy, that can be helpful in “resetting” your nervous system and settling your overactive amygdala that’s causing your anxiety disorder.
Take several slow, deep breaths and pay attention to the air entering and leaving your body. Try concentrating fully on what you’re doing in the immediate: What do you see, hear, or smell?
Julie Rich Hilton, a licensed clinical social worker based in Atlanta, also recommends a mind exercise she calls “file it.”
“As you lay in bed with eyes closed, visualize a table in front of you with lots of file folders spread out. Be specific [about that table] — our minds connect with a picture.
“Each file has written on it a thing that is racing through your mind. One for work tomorrow. One for the argument you had with your partner today. One with grief from a loss, regardless of how long ago. Everything that pops up gets a file. Then, one at a time, gently pick the file up, acknowledge how important it is (we are not throwing it away because it has importance if it is coming up), and file it for tonight into the cabinet next to you.
“As you file everything that could possibly be on your mind, you are slowly giving your brain the indication that nothing is wrong and everything has been examined and deemed not a threat.
“When you have gone through everything, it will feel like there is nothing left to be ‘prepped,’ for and the mind can relax,” she said.
It may also be helpful to schedule a “worry time,” where you sit down, let yourself worry, and make a plan on how you’re going to address some of those things. Just make sure this “worry time” is nowhere close to your bedtime.
“Each of us are equipped with a 24-hour internal body clock known as our circadian rhythm that tells our mind when to rest and when to be alert, but it craves consistency,” said Bill Fish, a sleep science coach and general manager at the Sleep Foundation.
“If you made a concerted effort to go to bed within a 20-minute window each night, get your 8 hours of sleep, and wake within the same 20-minute window each morning, you will gradually train your body and will make it much easier to get to sleep each night, especially when dealing with anxiety,” Fish said.
It’s also important to wake up at the same time every day, even if you had a bad night’s sleep.
“We often think we should ‘catch up’ on sleep over the weekend or if we have a bad night of sleep,” said Annie Miller, a licensed social worker and behavioral sleep medicine professional based in Washington, D.C. “But in fact, that can make insomnia worse by creating what’s called social jetlag.”
“It is important to keep your wake time consistent and understand that you may be tired in the short term, but this will build up sleep drive and eventually allow you to fall asleep faster,” she said.
What that routine looks like really depends on you and your needs. For some people, it’s meditation. For others, it’s as simple as taking a bubble bath before bed, lighting a scented candle, petting your cat, or reading a comforting book.
What’s important is that you take some time to wind down.
This means stepping away from stressful activities — like paying bills, listening to the news, talking about politics, scrolling through your phone — in the time leading up to you going to bed.
It’s especially important to limit your screen exposure: Blocking blue light at night can help you sleep.
Lying awake will only give your brain time to start another firestorm of worries and anxieties.
If you can’t fall asleep after 20 minutes or so, try restarting that bedtime routine.
Don’t turn on bright lights, of course, but go do a low-stress activity — like pet your cat or drink a cup of tea — for a few minutes to help give your body another chance at winding down for the night.
Night anxiety is when your anxiety intensifies right as you are trying to go to sleep. Without any distractions right before bed, it’s not uncommon for people to find themselves feeling more anxious.
In addition to consulting a mental health professional, you can take immediate steps to manage nighttime anxiety and improve sleep, such as developing healthy sleep habits and incorporating relaxation exercises into your routine.
