Breaking a habit or forming a new one can be challenging, but it’s possible. Patience, realistic habits, involving loved ones, and consistency in the long term can help make any habit stick.

Any behavior or action you engage in regularly counts as a habit.

Some habits can promote physical and mental wellness (like washing your hands or positive self-talk), while others might have more of an unwanted impact on your everyday life (like biting your nails or interrupting others).

But it’s possible to change habits that no longer serve you and create new ones that do.

Habits vs. routines

Habits differ from routines because habits typically involve little to no conscious thought, while routines typically require some intention and discipline.

For example, checking social media whenever you end up waiting in line somewhere would be a habit. Consciously deciding to do a warmup before each workout and a cooldown afterward would be more of a routine.

Doing something repeatedly may make you more likely to stick with it, since behaviors eventually become automatic. If a habit benefits your life, the reward can motivate you to stick with it.

“Creating a new habit can be a source of pride because you realize you have the power to improve your life, which can help bring you closer to being who you want to be,” explains Stephani Jahn, PhD, LMHC, NCC.

Say, for instance, you’re writing a novel. Making a habit of writing a few pages each day or designating a set time to write daily can make your final goal feel less overwhelming.

As you continue to make progress, you’ll likely feel more motivated to stick with your new habit and keep working toward your goal.

“Positive habits don’t just boost your self-esteem, either. They can also reduce stress and anxiety by offering a degree of structure and predictability to your everyday life,” explains Elizabeth Barlow, PhD, LICSW.

“Our brains love stories and patterns,” Barlow says. “When you engage in healthy habits, your brain has an expectation of what will happen and when it will happen. This can be useful for developing and managing a daily routine you feel in control of.”

A few examples

Some generally helpful habits to consider are:

You can absolutely teach yourself new habits. The key often lies in “stacking” a new habit on top of an existing one. This helps you remember the new behavior until it becomes automatic.

If you want to start a practice of daily positive affirmations, you might put a sticky note on your bathroom mirror to remind you to repeat them when you wash your face or brush your teeth.

Eventually, you won’t need the sticky note to remind you — simply going into the bathroom may become the cue that triggers your affirmations.

A few more expert-backed tips for reinforcing new habits:

  • Make it realistic: When a habit is more feasible for you, Paige Rechtman, LMHC, says you’re more likely to engage in it regularly, and consistency can help make it stick.
  • Make it as convenient as possible: “The easier you can make your new habit, the greater the chances you’ll stick with it,” says Harold Hong, MD.
  • Practice your habit at the same time every day: “You’ll often find it much easier to get into a habit when you do it at the same time because certain external cues can serve as reminders,” says Barlow.
  • Cheer yourself on: Taish Malone, PhD, LPC-S, advises coming up with ways to celebrate small wins to keep yourself motivated, like posting encouraging messages on your wall or fridge about how far you’ve come.
  • Use the buddy system: “Partnering up with someone who wants to incorporate the same habit, or even a different one, can help hold you accountable,” Rechtman says. You can check in with each other regularly to track progress and encourage each other if your motivation flags.

Give yourself some grace

As you try to establish a new habit, it always helps to be patient with yourself. An older study found that it takes about 66 daysTrusted Source of daily practice for an action to become a habit.

Try not to criticize yourself if you accidentally miss a day or two when trying to form a new habit, Malone says.

“Instead of thinking of this as a failure, view it as an opportunity to take note of the barrier in your way and improve your strategy,” Jahn recommends.

Try breaking undesired habits by replacing them with more helpful ones.

Let’s say you want to stop doomscrolling on your phone before bed. Instead, you can use that time to read a book, journal, or listen to music.

“It’s better to have a positive replacement action when trying to stop something you’re doing, so you can redirect yourself when the urge for that old habit comes up,” Jahn explains.

It may also help to track your daily progress toward breaking a habit in a journal or regularly check in with a friend to share your efforts.

A few other tips for replacing unhelpful habits:

  • Be mindful: “Pay attention to how you feel when engaging in unhelpful habits,” Rechtman encourages. Building this awareness can help you focus on why you want to make the change.
  • Acknowledge the reason for change: Hong says identifying the factors motivating you to make a change can help you stay on track as you try to kick an unwanted habit.
  • Identify your triggers: Recognizing specific triggers can help you create change more easily. For instance, if you know you have the urge to vape after dinner, you might plan to go for a walk instead. Tend to nibble your nails while reading a book? You might consider keeping your hands busy by using a fidget toy or stress ball.
How long does it take to break a habit?

Keep in mind, it can often take a considerable amount of time to break an unwanted habit. Exactly how much time, though, varies from person to person.

If you’re looking to build new, more helpful habits, consider getting support from a therapist.

According to Malone, a therapist can help you uncover the root causes or reasons behind your old habits, which can provide important information to help change them.

Rechtman notes that a therapist can also help you:

  • come up with ways for making your desired habits more realistic, attainable, and easy to stick with
  • stay accountable for creating change
  • explore any parts of you that might resist the new habit
  • stay motivated by providing encouragement and guidance
  • brainstorm ideas for tweaking your habits when you have trouble making them stick

Some unwanted habits can stem from mental health difficulties or trauma, according to Jahn. A therapist can help you unpack those concerns and come up with more productive coping and healing mechanisms.

Habits can play an important role in multiple aspects of your life, including mental and physical health, productivity, relationships, and self-esteem.

It’s always possible to build new, helpful habits and change habits that no longer align with your needs. Remember to be patient and compassionate during the process since forming new habits and making them stick takes time.

A little extra help can often make a difference, too. A therapist can offer more personalized guidance and support.

Rebecca Strong is a Boston-based freelance writer covering health and wellness, fitness, food, lifestyle, and beauty. Her work has also appeared in Insider, Bustle, StyleCaster, Eat This Not That, AskMen, and Elite Daily.