It’s time to lower the bar. Lower… no, keep going. There.
Raise your hand if this sounds familiar: A swirling to-do list in your brain. A list so long that even the simplest task becomes overwhelming and all-consuming.
Even as I write this article, I’m overwhelmed by the points I want to make and how to phrase them. I want to throw up my hands and deal with it later.
Getting things done, let alone getting organized, when you live with anxiety can be overwhelming.
This sense of overwhelm feeds one of the common patterns people struggle with: the perfectionism, procrastination, and paralysis cycle.
For many people, doing a task less-than-perfectly may be grounds to say, “Forget the whole thing!”
Whether perfectionism stems from a fear of judgment or from judgments you have of yourself, anxiety likes to convince you that if you can’t do everything and do it perfectly, you should probably do nothing at all.
But inevitably, there comes a point when that avoidance has gone on for far too long — and just when it’s time to pull it together, you freeze.
And along comes anxiety’s best friend: shame. Shame wants to constantly remind you that the task didn’t get done, only reinforcing your perfectionism… and perpetuating the cycle.
Getting organized went from a monumental task to an existential crisis as you begin to wonder what could be so “wrong” with you that you keep getting stuck.
Am I just lazy?
Is my brain broken?
Why do I do this to myself?
What’s the matter with me?
Rest assured, you’re not alone. And there are very practical ways to overcome anxiety so you can manage — and conquer — this cycle.
“The good thing about cycles is that they can be reversed in an equally cyclical way,” says Dr. Karen McDowell, clinical director of AR Psychological Services.
“When you tackle perfectionism, you’re less likely to procrastinate,” she says. “When you procrastinate less, you don’t get that sense of panic and paralysis, so your work ends up looking and feeling better than it would have otherwise.”
But where to begin? To break the cycle, follow these 7 steps:
Before diving into your work, make a conscious decision to lower the bar. Free yourself from the expectation that you have to give 100 percent of yourself to everything you do.
The first step to breaking the cycle is to recognize that often, accomplishing tasks is a slow process — and an imperfect one — and that’s totally okay. In other words, it’s okay to be human.
It won’t happen all at once. It’s okay to take your time. It’s okay to make mistakes (you can always go back and fix them later!). It’s easy to forget this, though, when we have so many expectations for ourselves.
As a writer, one of the best pieces of advice someone gave me was, “Remember, not every single piece needs to be a gem.” This means that I shouldn’t shoot for the Pulitzer Prize for every assignment I have.
I would never get anything done, and I’d wind up challenging my self-worth daily. How exhausting!
Instead, I’ve learned to separate which tasks deserve the bulk of time and attention and which are okay to ease up on. This doesn’t mean accepting laziness!
It just means understanding that B-level work is far from failure — and a typical part of life.
“Tackling perfectionism requires disrupting all-or-nothing thinking,” says Dr. McDowell. “For example, if you’re trying to get your inbox organized, it’s not going to help if you consider that as one single task. Figure out what the components of the task are, and take them in bite sizes.”
Breaking down tasks into smaller pieces makes them more manageable and leads to more frequent feelings of accomplishment as you cross each one off your list.
Sometimes the very act of crossing something off a list instills motivation to get more done. This is why no task is too small for your list! Cross it off, feel good about accomplishing something, and repeat the positivity.
Small victories build momentum! So set up your tasks accordingly.
When a task looms over us, we often overestimate the time it takes to complete it. When you think an anxiety-inducing task will take the entire day, you also tend not to schedule any time for self-care.
“Balancing priorities is important,” says Dr. Supriya Blair, licensed clinical psychologist. “This is why we include time for social and self-care activities during our daily and weekly schedule. Holding oneself accountable to follow through on work and fun activities takes practice, patience, and self-compassion.”
Not sure where to start? There’s a technique for that.
The Pomodoro Technique can make tracking time easier:
Using this method over time helps you recognize how much time an activity actually requires. This builds confidence in your ability to complete work while reducing interruptions.
It also makes space for self-care by reminding you that you do have room in your schedule for it!
There’s power in numbers! Tackling anything alone is more overwhelming than doing so with a support system.
One of the best ways to get organized when you have anxiety is to partner up with a supportive, hardworking companion. You can also reach out to a therapist or life coach to get some much-needed perspective.
“You are not alone. There are people out there who can help,” says Briana Mary Ann Hollis, LSW, and owner/administrator of Learning To Be Free.
“Write down what you need support with right now, and next to that, write at least one person who can help you with that task,” she says. “This will show you that you don’t have to do everything by yourself.”
It’s impossible for you to commit to absolutely everything, but we often feel the need to please everyone.
Taking on too many responsibilities is a surefire way to become overwhelmed and fall into a similar self-destructive cycle.
“Think about where you can streamline your schedule, delegate to others, or even say no to events and tasks that are not immediate or urgent,” says Angela Ficken, a psychotherapist who specializes in anxiety and OCD.
“The idea is to add some limits to your schedule. Doing this can clear your mind and your time so that you can actually do some activities that bring you joy. It really is OK to say no,” she adds.
How do you know what your limits are? Have you ever heard the expression, “If it’s not a ‘hell yes,’ then it’s a ‘no’”? While any rule has expectations, this is a good template to follow when taking on responsibilities.
We’re all busy, and we all have obligations, so if you don’t have to do something, then don’t feel guilty about saying no.
You’re never too old to reward yourself. Setting up small rewards can often be one of the most effective ways to motivate yourself to complete organizational tasks.
“Focus on how you will feel when your home is organized and clean, how exciting and fun it can be to plan your wedding, how responsible you will feel when you complete your taxes,” says Dr. Nancy Irwin, a psychologist with Seasons in Malibu.
“Then reward yourself for a job well done. Positive reinforcement ensures the next project can go as smoothly and informs you that you are bigger than the anxiety,” she says.
Each day, I list the assignments and household tasks I want to accomplish. They range from smaller household chores like “take out the trash” to important ones like “complete edits” or “submit invoicing.”
No matter the size of the task, I treat myself after each one. I go for a walk or watch 30 minutes of television. When I finish the list, I might even have a glass of wine.
Giving myself these fun treats to look forward to breaks up my day and turns my overwhelming to-do list into something of a game!
Staying in tune with your body and mindset as you practice breaking patterns can be extremely beneficial.
Self-check-ins are critical, especially if you’re prone to honing in on the smallest details. To avoid feeling overwhelmed, it’s important to take a step back and give yourself breaks and reminders.
“Mindfulness is key,” says Ficken. “A relatively easy mindfulness skill is to take yourself outside for a walk or to sit out on your stoop. Being out in the elements can be an easy visual and sensational cue to bring yourself into the present moment.”
Keeping grounded is an important part of keeping your anxiety in check. Don’t hesitate to take a breather when you feel your anxiety building — your body and brain will thank you later!
Anxiety disorders are the most common U.S. mental illness, affecting 40 million adults each year.
If your anxiety is building up walls when it comes to organizing your life or day-to-day tasks, rest assured there are millions out there coping with the same stressors.
The good news is that anxiety disorders are highly treatable, and the patterns that keep you in a negative loop are breakable. The first step is deciding that it’s okay to cut yourself some slack.
You’ve got this!
