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| What 2023 taught our team |
| “It’s OK to ask for help.” |
| A major lesson I learned this year was about caregiving and learning it’s OK to ask for help. It seems like such an obvious thing until you’re trying to take care of yourself with major depression and someone else while they’re recovering from major surgery. |
| It’s been ingrained in me that it’s “shameful” to ask for help, some sort of hurt to my pride. But it’s not, and if I take anything away from this year it’s that no matter how hard or painful, asking for help is better than the alternative — suffering in silence. |
| –– Jamie Elmer, Copy Editor and Project Manager |
| “Setting boundaries isn’t harsh, it’s self-love.” |
| Whew, chile. The biggest lesson I learned this year was definitely the second biggest in my life: Setting and reinforcing boundaries to restore my mental and medical wellness. |
| As Black women and women of faith, I've accepted that we often take on too much and bury ourselves in productivity as a trauma response. I've learned to pull the emergency brake manually when the nervous system is overloaded by porous boundaries and imbalanced relationships. |
| I've learned setting boundaries isn't harsh, it's self-love [and] love for others and can be done with grace — even if it means tough love for another adult! Having compassion for our inner child and the saying “beautiful girl, you can do hard things” has never been more real to me, and I'm seeing the blessed fruit already! |
| –– Kristin Currin-Sheehan, Multimedia Editor |
| “Pretending like the tension doesn’t exist won’t solve anything.” |
| If I can avoid conflict, I will. I hate having to share my feelings, especially if I have to have a hard conversation with someone — either because I messed up or felt like they wronged me. But that's a coward's approach. Yes, these moments are difficult to deal with, but I've come to realize that they're actually quite necessary. |
| If I value a relationship and want it to grow more, pretending like the tension doesn't exist won't solve anything. I've had a few of these talks with my friends this year, and even though I felt awful in the moment — and for a few days after — when the dust settled, I felt more connected to them. |
| I've come to realize that "close" friendships mean that you have to tackle these situations head on so that all parties can move forward. Now, I'm not saying I'm going to be the *best* at this next year. But I feel good knowing that I can recognize these moments and know how best to address them (whether I actually take that step or not). |
| –– Kenny Thapoung, Managing Newsletter Editor |
| “Dog parks are not a good place to socialize puppies.” |
| This is a lesson I learned the hard way this year. It was my first time caring for a rambunctious young dog and in my naivete, I started taking her to the dog park on a daily basis to get her energy out and play with other dogs. Most of the time, she was having so much fun I couldn't imagine I was subjecting her to anything potentially damaging. But she would also often get rushed by a group of bigger, older dogs, which would make her visibly scared and uncomfortable. |
| Long story short, she now has some reactive tendencies toward other dogs that she never had before the dog park. Based on a lot of reading I've done, it's likely this came about from too many rough encounters with strange dogs. I definitely won't be making this mistake with my next puppy! |
| –– Ginger Wojcik, Newsletter Editor |
